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(Breathe) They tell me all she needs is to breathe. All she (Breathe) needs is a heartbeat and we can just leave. And (Breathe) take our baby home. I almost start to believe. But then they (Breathe) ask can you fill out this death certificate please. Whoa whoa (Rain). I hear the melody of rain on the window. (Rain) I love to watch your hair swim in the wind blow. (Rain) Standing in the rain, I'm kissing your lips slow. (Rain) I tell you I'ma hold you and I'm never gon' let go. (Rain)

I gotta be honest, I don't know if we're ready. I mean, you have two kids already. And girl, we're not ready for three. And when I say we, I mean me. Especially me. I'm a kid myself. You keep lecturing' and pestering' me. Remember when we pulled over to the side of the road. When I called my dad and then I cried after I had just told him. Holding' me in your arms. I cried, thinking' whys he not scolding' me. Letting' everything out I was trying' to hold in. I think that's about the time that I first was excited for her. Excited for my Baby's birth. Either then or the ultrasound, when I and you first seen that black and white image of her inside of you cursed. And then one day I was reading this book by Carl Sagan. When it comes to the part where he talks about the 4th century pagan. A mathematician philosopher maiden brave and brazen. The face of ignorance when it had its safest haven. Her name was Hypatia. The perfect name for our girl the perfect name for the perfect girl in this great little world. Then you know it's time. You've done this twice. It's labor for sure. They're saying' that you're not ready, in two days we return. They hook you up to that heart monitor baby machine. But we can't hear anything, this is crazy. It seems they can't hear her little heart. We start making' a scene. The Doc says sorry for your loss. I hear the craziest scream. I hold you; console you. But everything I say will not bring our baby back. She's gone forever in a daze and a dream. Hurt, she poses. Curtain closes, too much pain in the scene. But what you felt in that moment I couldn't claim to be keen. This is what it sounds like when laughter dies. You look up at me and say she was supposed to have my eyes. Right there on the hospital bed I collapsed and cried; hugging' your stomach; loving' what we had inside. I can't begin to imagine what it was like for you. To have something you love more than life inside of you. United, you were tied to her. There were no tighter two. Then right as you try to do what you must, she dies in you. (Push) She's still inside of you. Just try to do this fast. (Push) The pain will grow quieter as she moves into the past. (Push) The silence death will bring is deafening we're there at last. (Push) I almost didn't hold her. How stupid is that? I almost didn't hold my baby. But as a father I would've regretted it. Especially after I had to watch her emerge from you; giving birth to our silent daughter. I try; I wanna just be your knight in shining armor. But this thing should say birth, not death, certificate. It's crazy how one word can change your whole world. Isn't it? There's nothing I can say to take the pain away. But I know we'll have another rainy day.

(Breathe) They tell me all she needs is to breathe. All she (Breathe) needs is a heartbeat and we can just leave. And (Breathe) take our baby home. I almost start to believe. But then they (Breathe) ask can you fill out this death certificate please. Whoa whoa (Rain). I hear the melody of rain on the window. (Rain) I love to watch your hair swim in the wind blow. (Rain) Standing in the rain, I'm kissing your lips slow. (Rain) I tell you I'ma hold you and I'm never gon' let go. (Rain) (REPEAT)

credits

from III. Hypatia's Reign, released November 11, 2011

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syqnys Salt Lake City, Utah

Syqnys is an independent emcee from Salt Lake City. He has released 7 studio albums. Syqnys' musical themes include Atheism, Politics, Social mores, contemporary pop culture, Gay Rights, Abortion, Racism, Sexism as well as many others. Syqnys' music contains explicit language and shouldn't be listened to by anyone under the age of 25 ... more

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